Posted by: tabliope | November 23, 2011

Middle-Age –

Recently I’ve been thinking more and more about being middle-aged; if I’m honest, I mean I’ve thinking more about myself  and how I feel about being middle-aged.  I know all the stuff about it being a state of mind and being as old as you feel and all these things that people say  but when you get down to it, you’re still middle-aged and there’s a downward slide approaching.  Several years ago I remember some older friends of mine suddenly being so old and I couldn’t quite work out what had happened.  That certainly wasn’t going to happen to me and I was perfectly sure of that in the same way that I was perfectly sure that if I had had children they wouldn’t have been sat in front of the telly with a bag of sweets.  No, I was going to be entirely different and would break the mould.  Except here I am dithering about turning off the lights and finding my keys and checking that I switched the heating off and I’ve turned into my mother.  My middle-aged mother.

Middle-aged is never really used as a compliment especially not if you’re a woman.  I know that I’ve used it to be derogatory about behaviour that I think is a bit slow or sensible.  I joked about knowing that I was middle-aged because I was buying shoes for comfort and not style but that’s not entirely true.  I do have my comfy shoes that I wouldn’t have been seen standing next to , far less wearing, when I was twenty  but I still have shoes that my hips regret.  The thing I hate the most is that I think I feel either invisible or patronised.

I googled ‘positive images of middle-aged women’ and this is what I got.  I’d heard the term ‘cougar‘  before (I think it’s mostly used in the US, isn’t it?) but I’d never really bothered to look at what it meant, exactly but I think it’s a shocking term.  I like that they refer to ‘wearing of animal print clothing by older and more sexually aggressive women’ just as I’ve bought a grey, animal print, silk scarf.  (It looks better than my description).  It’s odd that I never found the expression ‘being Mrs Robinson’ offensive in the same way that I find the cougar expression.  Perhaps it’s my loathing of adopting Americanisms or maybe it’s one more example of being middle-aged.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Responses

  1. I hate ‘cougar’ too – reducing women to animals who want to pounce on young men. There’s no male equivalent.

    There’s an American show called Cougartown, which I think is basically Courtney Cox despairing that her life is over now she’s 40, and deciding she can only revive it by hooking up with 20-something men. If she was a male lead, we’d just be asked to accept his younger partner – it wouldn’t be the entire thrust of the storyline.

    RANT OVER.

  2. yes.

    Sadly I think my mind has wandered and I seem to have lost the point of what I was writing. I’m going to come back to it.

  3. I’m saying nothing about dashing about the flat looking for the keys one morning. And finding them in the fridge.
    Oh.


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