Posted by: tabliope | June 18, 2008

Two snippets of advice

1.  Should you ever find yourself wondering how you would look if you drew the loose folds of skin on your face back towards the neck area and then turned your head slightly to the side to get the profile picutre, can I suggest that you do this in the privacy of your own bathroom with the door locked, and padlock added to be on the safe side.  Ladies' rooms in restaurants and cafes may try to lull you into a false sense of security by putting soft towels, soft lighting and pretty soaps around the place but you'll find that none of this helps when the two 19 year-olds march in at the moment that you're admiring the firm jaw you once owned around 1987. 

2.  Dignity can never be scraped from the floor of the ladies' room.

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Responses

  1. [this is good] That’ll be me one day, and them.  

  2. Loose folds? I do not believe it for one moment.
    I suggest that anyone wanting to see properly loose folds would be better advised to take a gander in the direction of my tummy*. If you drew the loose folds back from it, you could probably wrap them several times around my neck area and still have enough foldage left over to make a nice scarf with which to tie my jaw firmly shut. Bloody pregnancy.
    * any takers?

  3. This reminds me of the endless entertainment I get from watching my mother-in-law stretch her ear lobes – they just stretch and stretch and stretch.  and no, she doesn’t know I’m watching.  

  4. Oh dear.  Mind you, I have mah boys to take the piss out of me.  Chefboy and I have agreed are both going for the ‘tighten the neck up’ procedure – if ever we can find the time, that is.


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